Honesty is the Best Policy?

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 08:50 pm
[personal profile] jazzyjj
Honesty is indeed the best policy. It is not good to lie to people. The more you lie to people, the greater the chances are that they won't believe and trust you. The only time one should lie is on their pillow, or down on a bed of roses. I believe everybody should always be honest. One or 2 lies as a kid is okay, but beyond that they're not good at all.

AI 2016 Day Two

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 07:28 pm
soc_puppet: [Homestuck] God tier "Life" themed Dreamsheep (Sheep of Life)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
Bleeerrrrgh, I am so tired =_= So very, very tired.

On the plus side, the wheelchair spaces I set up in the video rooms remained mostly intact. On the neutral side, the spaces I set up in most panel rooms did not, but I have come to expect that. On the minus side, the slots I originally set up in Main Programming were so far off as to be effectively useless when I went about trying to re-set things this morning.

Made about $100 in sales today, and I still have a big commission waiting to be picked up. I don't know what else I mentioned yesterday and am too lazy to open a new tab, so I'll just change the subject.

I did reasonably well on our convention's traditional goal of 6-2-1 yesterday, but it fell apart last night. (Oh, 6-2-1 is our reccomendation for attendees (and staff) to get 6 hours of sleep, 2 good meals, and 1 shower for every day at the convention. We call it the 6-2-1 Rule.) Anyway, all of my roommates were out later than I was, and though I did my level best to get to sleep early (and before they came in), it did not work out. I got a few hours of sleep, and about eight hours of rest, but sometime around 2:30am one of them got back from a long shift who is a snorer. I'm a snorer myself, so I don't have much room to complain, but the irregularity of the snoring was not conducive to sleep. Towards the time when I finally got up, my dreaming/half-asleep mind started trying to interpret the snores as speech, with interesting results. The only one I remember is "blue ribbon butter", but there were practically conversations in there. And then they'd break off when the snoring went irregular :/

Anyway, I'm going to try again for sleep tonight, and even if I don't manage it, I've got tomorrow morning "off" and don't have to be staffing anything until noon, so. Relaxation, if nothing else.

And now, supper.

(no subject)

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 06:58 pm
the_rck: figure perched in a tree with barren branches (Default)
[personal profile] the_rck
The odors from Scott's cooking have driven me out of the living room. Onions and broccoli aren't good with an odor sensitive headache with nausea. I think he thought my headache was gone. I'm in our bedroom with an open tube of Bengay shoved right up to my nose.

(no subject)

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 06:39 pm
the_rck: figure perched in a tree with barren branches (Default)
[personal profile] the_rck
I’ve got some packing done, almost all of my clothes and an assortment of dishes, cutlery, and canned goods. I’ve packed the medications that we might need on the trip but won’t need before we leave.

Scott did the grocery shopping. I asked for canned fruit and canned vegetables, and he got like five cans of vegetables and no fruit (we have two cans of fruit in the cupboard) which I think is kind of the opposite of the correct proportions in terms of what our family will eat. I had him get some Coca-Cola because I don’t know that I want to deal with trying to make coffee that will please me while we’re at the hotel.

I think Scott and I have very different ideas about food for this trip. He thinks that, with one loaf of bread, we can all three eat two sandwiches a day, Sunday through Wednesday, and be fine. I don’t think I can do that without just stopping eating by some time on Tuesday.

We made it to the library to pick up the audiobooks I had on hold. It was incredibly crowded downtown, bumper to bumper traffic all the way down Division and Broadway and hordes of people walking along the sidewalks, and it took us twice as long to get home as it normally would. Scott got stuck in a turn lane as we headed down Division, so we had to go around the Farmer’s Market in order to get back to the street we needed to be on.

The audiobooks are The Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken, Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson, Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine, and How They Choked by Georgia Bragg. Another audiobook came in, but that's for me rather than for the family to listen to on the trip. I think Scott and I might like trying Ancillary Justice, but I'm pretty sure Cordelia would rebel.

Right now, I want to nap, but I need to do more packing. I also need to shower and then pack the shower stuff. I’ve had some things I want to take laid out on the couches in the living room, but Scott keeps moving them and piling other things (that we’re not taking) on top of them, so I’m going to have make extra sure I find everything and actually get it to the car.

Scott thinks we’re actually going to go out and do something after we reach the hotel tomorrow. I think he’s dreaming. I also can’t think of what on earth we would want to do that we could start at 4:00 or 5:00. I had thought we’d stay and the hotel and that Scott and Cordelia would swim and we’d all relax. Maybe we could watch a DVD on my laptop or something.

The idea of doing something after checking out of the hotel on Wednesday but before heading home makes more sense to me. Scott says that he thinks Cordelia will enjoy the Field Museum more than the Museum of Science and Industry and that he likes the idea of having the planetarium and aquarium right there if we get bored with the Field Museum. Maybe we can do Science and Industry on Wednesday. I’d hate for Scott to miss it altogether, and I very much want to try to get Cordelia to be interested in science enough to be (at the very least) scientifically literate.

I haven’t started printing directions yet. I will likely do that while we watch whatever movie Cordelia picks out for tonight. We’ll see.

Saturday Yardening

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 04:12 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Today I cut two wheelbarrows of tall weeds from the south lot, clearing space to mow more of that.  This will open access to the volunteer maple tree that needs to be cut out of the hedge.  The tree guys are coming on Tuesday, hopefully at noon like they said, to take care of that.  Our old internet company was bought out by AT&T, which is behaving like a bull in a china shop, so my partner Doug spent the last month finding a replacement for internet and phone service.  They don't use the same towers, though, so had trouble getting a signal.  Fortunately that tree was meant for removal already, just at a later time.

I saw a hummingbird investigating the flowers in the barrel garden.  He immediately flew away again, but I got to see him.  I like hummingbirds.  They're like flying jewels.  :D  With Super-Speed as an ordinary species ability.

Round two: I picked a few blackberries.  Then I sprayed poison ivy and resprouting brush.

New Day (Young Toughs) | #fic #ao3

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 03:26 pm
duskpeterson: (bookshelves)
[personal profile] duskpeterson
New Day (Young Toughs).

"Having a servant-boy accompany them on this trip was annoying, Kit thought. But there was no way around it; Honey's parents would never have allowed Honey to visit Yclau without her young bodyguard."

Kit has reached her apprenticeship birthday and is on a path to inherit power. But what sort of power will she wield?

A journey from the First Landstead to the neighboring Queendom of Yclau seems an easy enough day-trip for two young women and a faithful young servant. Kit and Honey will simply catch a monorail to the queendom's capital and enjoy their first sight of a foreign nation.

But Yclau is not the First Landstead. It is a land of robots, memories of the Bomb, and a lingering fear of what might occur next.

Kit is determined to have her birthday the way she wanted. But she will need allies for her fight, and one of them is an ally she did not expect.

Want to sell a Tully's card

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 03:02 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Because [livejournal.com profile] cattitude and I moved east about three months earlier than I was planning, I have a Tully's card with about $28 and one free drink on it. There are no Tully's shops in this part of the country, so I am hoping to sell the card.

If any of my Pacific Northwest friends are interested, please contact me.

Also, has anyone here used one of those websites that let people buy and sell gift cards? I'm looking for either general advice, or specific recommendations for/against specific sites.

(I say "about $28" because I didn't write down the amount, so I know only that it's between $28 and $29. For these purposes, I think we should round that down to $28.00. Also, unlike Starbucks, Tully's card freebies don't expire, or at least didn't as of February 2016.)

(no subject)

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 12:18 pm
staranise: A star anise floating in a cup of mint tea (Default)
[personal profile] staranise
Work is kind of interesting. I knew when I moved my shifts to morning from evening that the woman who works weekend mornings drives people nuts to work with, but I wanted to spend more time with her anyway--she's worked for the shelter for 15 years, on and off, and many other places besides, and I thought it would be interesting to get to know her more.

Mostly we work well together; she's incredibly scattered, easily distracted, and gets hung up on tiny extraneous details. I am, ahem, Used to Dealing With These Traits, and also I'm not in the habit of trusting that other people have their shit together--often a vexation and a bad habit, but with her, it works. I make a big list of Tasks We Have to Complete This Shift and review it with her every couple hours, and a few hours before shift end I check in with her about what tasks we have remaining (which is usually Her: ton of stuff, Me: nothing) and reallocate, like, "Only you can document that crisis call you took, while I can search through the basement for a nightie, so it makes no sense for you to spend 45 minutes rooting through the Housekeeping office." So for the first few weeks I left on time when she stayed behind for an hour to catch up on her work; lately, we've both been leaving when our shift ends.

The things that tend to actually stress me out fall under two categories.

1) She sees herself as Last of an Old Guard and knows that, because we don't have supervisors on the weekend, she can get away with stuff weekday staff can't. So she dedicates a lot of her shift to a) photocopying and distributing Beverly Engels' writing, because she feels we need to do more emotional support and counselling (which I don't object to, but she's very unwilling to talk new supervisors into doing this more regularly) and b) telling the women they ought to go to church. Which I do mind. Like, a woman said in the office today, "I want to go dance and have fun--where in Edmonton do you do that?" and my coworker said, "Do I remember you went to [$Denomination] church last week? Churches like that often have singles' groups, women's groups, great resources like that." When management decided it would no longer fund cab rides to church on Sunday, this coworker got her church to fund cabs--but the cab only goes to her church, so she now spends her weekends talking about how [$Specific Church] is very welcoming and has great music and the kids love it and the cab for it leaves at 10am.

I finally did say, "Yeah, it sounds like you're pushing religion on them, and your church in particular."

"Oh, well," she said. "I'm just trying to expand their social supports, and anyway the money isn't coming from the shelter so management shouldn't care."

I'm... considering avenues of approach with her, before I take this to Management to sort out, because she's totally oblivious to a) people who have been spiritually abused, especially b) the mostly-Aboriginal population of our shelter, who have had Way Too Much religion pushed at them by well-meaning white people like us.

2) She's very White Second-Wave Feminist, 1980s-Trained Social Worker, and she hasn't been keeping current on changes in practices, especially as regards emotional regulation and physiological arousal and trauma. So she TALKS. A LOT. All this psychoeducation for the women, talk talk talk, advice advice advice, I think you should do, you really need to, blah blah blah. And I'm like... for ONE, you're giving them a lot of advice they don't want, need, or find useful. For TWO, you're not paying attention to the subtle cues that the woman is overwhelmed, unreceptive, or not actually listening to you, and you're bulldozing all over your rapport with them.

I am like... so so so fed up with the limitations of the Duluth model, which my shelter uses. It was developed in the 1980s and it works for maybe 5-10% of our shelter women, who are the middle-class white women without huge addiction or mental health issues, into whose lives an abuser walked. They're the women we're really good at helping and getting into good long-term situations.

But for Aboriginal women whose entire communities have been carpet-bombed with child abuse, so now everyone they're close to have been developmentally traumatized? Immigrant women, whose lives are defined by the legal and economic questions of immigration, moving from a poor country to a rich one, and employment status? Human trafficking clients, who are traumatized as all fuck and often aggressive and angry towards us? We call them our "difficult clients" and blame ourselves or them when we struggle to help them, instead of blaming our model and expectations. And they're 90-95% of the women we help.

WE NEED NUANCED INTERSECTIONAL FEMINIST MODELS OF TRAUMA INTERVENTION. Like, beyond just reworking Duluth so it's not "always male abuser, always female victim." Ones we can take to the front lines to replace this "women's shelter" stuff. Ones that address disability and trauma, race and cultural history, legal and economic disparities, the use of social and physical violence. I saw hints of them at the Neurosequential Symposium, but they're not moving into my shelter for the next decade.

The therapeutic advice that seems most useful in this job came from a professor I hated, but it's good anyway: "Watch them breathe." So much of my job is helping them physiologically regulate. I usually either see chests that don't move because their inhabitants are so hyperaroused their breathing is quick and shallow, or clients who yawn their way through telling their stories of abuse and assault because they're so dissociated and inhibited they're not getting enough oxygen. And with all of them, often the most therapeutic thing I do is stop and take a deep breath, because then they do. And then we can work together.

So, you know. That's how the job is going.

Today's DailyOM Offerings...

NSFW Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 11:26 am
ariestess: (ann on fire within -- from annie)
[personal profile] ariestess
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

(no subject)

Sat, Jul. 30th, 2016 12:59 pm
the_rck: figure perched in a tree with barren branches (Default)
[personal profile] the_rck
I woke this morning with a headache that I haven’t quite managed to get rid of. I took Ativan (because it might be trip related anxiety) and Amerge (because it was definitely migraine-ish). It might also relate to the weather. I heard thunder right for a couple of hours this morning. I just can’t seem to kick this one.

Scott is worried that he will get sick because he often does during his vacations. He thinks that suddenly not being sleep deprived signals his body that it can afford to be sick.

I’m going to work at getting Scott to bed by 10:00 on work nights. It will mean prodding and nagging which I hate doing, but apparently he can’t do it himself in spite of wanting to or, at least, saying he wants to.

I got Cordelia to talk to me about possible shopping destinations. Water Tower Place didn’t appeal to her at all. Her main objection was the lack of a book store. Neither of the other options seem to have a book store, either, but they do have stores that carry things she won’t see at our local mall. I think her interest in Navy Pier is more or less nostalgia because she had a lot of fun there when Scott’s brother’s family lived in Chicago (she and her cousin can’t have been older than about six). All of the things that I told her about that are there, she kind of went 'Eh' to (except the candy store), but she still wants to go. She’s very enthusiastic about the idea of Chinatown because the photographs online are very colorful and full of things that she’s not going to see in Ann Arbor.

Scott and I are thinking that they’ll start Monday with Willis Tower then go to Navy Pier and then to Chinatown. If I can manage the anxiety/agoraphobia, I will join them in Chinatown, and we’ll find dinner before going back to the hotel. I’m not entirely sure about paying admission to Navy Pier entirely for nostalgia and a candy store, but… Yeah.

Cordelia doesn’t actually care about the museums (or says she doesn’t). Scott wants to go to Science and Industry because it’s been his favorite since he was very, very small. I want to go to Field because I want to see the terracotta warriors exhibit (which costs extra). Both museums are big enough that it’s impossible to see everything in a day even if you’re there from open to close. I’m trying to figure out if we should try to do both museums or just one or the other. If we do just one, I’m inclined to go for Science and Industry because, for me, seeing a museum exhibit isn’t really all that different from seeing photographs. I can’t touch anything either way, so there’s the same level of distance and the same tendency for what I see to vanish into a kind of cotton wool memory where I know I saw it but don’t really remember the sight.

Scott needs to do several things today so that we can leave on time tomorrow. We have to pick up library holds. We need travel food and hotel room food. We need portable recharger thingies for our phones. I can’t do any of that without him to drive.

I need to dig out suitcases (I wrote yesterday. I didn’t actually do anything useful). Now that we have a plan for Monday, I have to print directions. Scott’s planning to get an app for finding directions on the fly, but he can’t tell which one is the official app and refuses to go to the the CTA website in order to identify it. I have no idea what that refusal has to do with. Is it like the old 'If you ask for directions, you lose,' thing?

I’ve got enough clean clothes to pack without needing to do laundry, so I should be able to start. Cordelia has packed everything except what she needs to get through today and tomorrow morning. I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to take all of my medication bottles or just count out enough to get through the trip. The bottles are a PITA, and I would have to leave them in our hotel room. I don’t think anyone would steal any of my meds. People don’t go wild for anti-reflux meds or for singulair or what have you. The bottles are also evidence that the medication is legitimately prescribed. But, really, would anybody think I had levothyroxine for some other reason? I think Wellbutrin is the most likely, of any of my meds, to be abusable, but that’s purely a guess.

Let’s see… The trash has to go out. It’s already a bit stinky. I can’t imagine what it would be like by Wednesday. I should probably pull things that will go bad out of the fridge and toss them before I take out that trash. I’ll run the dishwasher tomorrow morning, whether it’s full or not, because I’m not willing to leave dirty dishes in there for days.

Oh, great. The mail just arrived, and I’ve got a largish packet from Social Security. They want me to prove that I’m still disabled. I think I’d be better able to deal with this if I didn’t have a headache and wasn’t trying to put together a vacation plan. They want a list of every doctor/medical professional I’ve seen in the last year. I hope I can pull that list together. It will probably help that all but one of them is part of the UMHS.

AI 2016 Day One

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 10:37 pm
soc_puppet: Words "In Real Life" in green (Now showing in 3D)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
Phew! Convention day one is effectively over. I mean, there's still stuff going on, but I'm not doing any of it. Instead, I will (very shortly) be sleeping. And then in the morning, back to work!

Oh, sales are also going pretty well at the Staff Art Table. And I've got pics of one of the special desserts I made for the Recharge Room, which I will share later :3b They are Pokeball chocolate strawberries, and they turned out great! The other ones are Mario 1up and grow/shrink mushroom style cupcakes. They turned out less well, but they're still tasty. Possibly more on those later.

Anyway, sleep. That is definitely what I'm going to do next.


Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 08:38 pm
me_ya_ri: white lotus flower on green water with reflection in the water (Default)
[personal profile] me_ya_ri
I really wish life would slow down.

I got a lot of work-work done today plus 1400 words on the new novel. Got to the point where Imani point-blank offered to be Bala's patron (she's a consort) with no strings attached if Bala would help find, defang and/or kill the people endangering the Ceelen.

Imani has NO IDEA how big a thing that is for Bala. XD

So yeah, tomorrow's writing will be a blast. Tonight? Yeah, tonight's writing is a nope.

The hubby's going to visit his family at oh-god early tomorrow so there's packing him up and soothing his worries (he hates flying) and then I got a new doll in and I had to play with her a little bit. She's a blank mint green Mini Machina by Batchix. I've got a wig and three different eyes that could work but she needs to be painted and I've no putty to put her eyes in with and agh!

All of that means I didn't get this week's book into POD. It's about 1/3 done so I know I'll get it tomorrow. It's just that tomorrow's looking like a very busy day right now.

Because there's the POD formatting, uploading the book everywhere, getting the putty and silver paint for the new girl, seeing the hubby off, writing, gardening and I have a bunch of sewing I'd really, really, really like to at least approach. I mean, I've had the stack of fabric sitting by my desk for a couple of weeks now. I'd like the floor space back.

So yeah. Tomorrow will be very busy and today was not as productive as I would have liked. Such is life. With the hubby gone until Tuesday hopefully I'll not only get caught up but ahead, too.

Off to bath and bed--goodnight everyone!

Poetry Fishbowl Report for July 19, 2016

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 10:18 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The bonus fishbowl theme was "anything goes." I worked from 1:15 PM to 6:30 AM, so about 15 hours 15 minutes, accounting for lunch and supper breaks. I wrote 7 poems on Tuesday and another 16 later in the week.

Participation was higher, with 43 comments on LiveJournal and another 38 on Dreamwidth. Please welcome new prompter Zelofheda.

Read Some Poetry!
The following poems from the July 19, 2016 Poetry Fishbowl have been posted:
"Fuzzy Intuition"
"Ice Fishing"
"A Kind of Memory in Nature"
"Just to Feel Alive"
"Kin to the Shadows"
"Other Options"
"The Rainbow Sails"
"The Solo Chorus"

Buy some poetry!
If you plan to sponsor some poetry but haven't made up your mind yet, see the unsold poetry list for July 19, 2016. That includes the title, length, price, and the original thumbnail description for the poems still available.

All currently sponsored poems from this session have been posted. There were five donors this time:
[livejournal.com profile] janetmiles[personal profile] alatefeline, Anthony and Shirley Barrette. 

The Poetry Fishbowl project also has a permanent landing page.

(no subject)

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 10:53 pm
the_rck: figure perched in a tree with barren branches (Default)
[personal profile] the_rck
Anyone willing to beta read 2800 words of Chronicles of Amber fic with Merlin/Jasra dubcon (Jasra captured Merlin) looming in the background? There's no violence or overt nastiness beyond the background situation. It's just conversation, kind of tense conversation but nevertheless. Oh, and there are babies. I know that's a dealbreaker for some people.

I'm not quite done, but I don't expect more than another two or three paragraphs.

I'm going to bed now, so I won't get back to anyone until morning.

Friday Yardening

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 07:21 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Round one: put out grass seed in a bare patch.

Round two: picked a handful of blackberries.

The tall yellow flower in the prairie garden does seem to be a cup plant. 

(no subject)

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 07:57 pm
the_rck: figure perched in a tree with barren branches (Default)
[personal profile] the_rck
How do I end up doing this? I started off trying to write something iddy and not to be taken seriously in terms of trying to keep it in character or consistent with canon or anything at all that resembled work. What I’ve got is 2100 words that’s trying to be an actual story and that’s kind of angsty and not all that much fun in the way I meant it to be. It’s not even about the characters I intended to write about. It’s Amber, Merlin and Jasra talking to each other in a canon divergent AU with Merlin/Jasra dubcon in the background because Jasra managed to capture Merlin when she came to yank him out of the Blue Cave. (Instead of him escaping and almost capturing her.)

This Merlin is probably OOC because he has at least as much brain as God gave a turnip. Jasra may be OOC or may not. I haven’t reread the bits with her in them in quite a long time, and AO3 isn’t helpful. She’s tagged on two fics, one mine from Yuletide 2009 and one in Russian. I also suspect that the conversation is wandering unnecessarily and potentially boringly. If it’s drawerfic, that doesn’t matter. If it isn’t…

Quite apart from that, I can’t tell if it’s any good at all or just ridiculous. Would anyone on earth be interested in reading Merlin/Jasra?

Beer with Hillary

Fri, Jul. 29th, 2016 04:05 pm
elf: Many Americans have all the virtues of civilized people (American virtues)
[personal profile] elf
One of the recurring political babble-bits going around is "Who would you rather have a beer with - Trump or Hillary?"

We'll set aside the issue of the man being referred to by his last name and the woman by her given name - in this particular case, I suspect that's less sexism than personal choice of the candidates. Hillary Clinton needs voters to know when she's being referred to, as opposed to her husband; Donald Trump likes to believe his own branding hype. (Yeah, my preferences are not exactly hard to figure out.) I'm even going to set aside the innate (sex- and class-related) assumptions of the "have a beer with" criteria and the cultural setting it implies.

“Would enjoy having a beer with” is a valid measure of one aspect of political skill – not because candidates should be someone that you, personally (or I, personally), would enjoy spending social time with, but because politicians should be able to meet business leaders, other politicians, and random citizens, in informal settings, listen to unstructured and unrehearsed hopes, fears, and complaints, and take that info back to their offices and do something about it.

The issue isn’t “would I want to hang out with them” but “can they get other people relax enough to talk about things that aren’t on the formal agenda; do they come across as a person whose officially stated ideals still shape how they act in casual settings? Can they relax without seeming to be an entirely different person? Can they relax among friends at all, or do they always act like they’re on stage or being graded?” It’s a useful concept to consider, but it’s hardly the only one that matters.

And any woman in politics (or any other public arena) needs a “public face” that’s poised, careful, and firm – or she risks being dismissed as either “bitchy and shrill” or “folksy and stupid.” A third option, which Hillary has cultivated to perfection, is “cold and competent;” she can’t do the “patient and loving” approach–that is obviously one of her strengths–because women who come across as openly compassionate are usually dismissed as “too soft and feminine” for the world of politics.

So I’m not surprised that any number of men are thinking “I wouldn’t care to have a beer with Hillary,” because most of them have never dealt with women who have to develop that armor.

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