kaz: "Kaz" written in cursive with a white quill that is dissolving into (badly drawn in Photoshop) butterflies. (Default)
Kaz ([personal profile] kaz) wrote in [community profile] access_fandom 2009-10-26 09:46 am (UTC)

but I know very well that feeling of "there goes a bright shiny thing that people in fandom love and I don't" and the "I'm left out" feeling that follows on its heels.

Yeah. :(

It sometimes surprises me what really sets it off - for instance, I pretty much can't watch video or listen to recorded speech on my own (weird sensory issues + humiliation squick the size of Jupiter + suspense squick the size of Saturn + more weird sensory issues, I think), which is a HUGE issue for fandom participation, but it usually doesn't bother me much. I'm not that fussed when people on my flist start squeeing about vids or podfics because I have no urge to watch that kind of medium anyway (or if I do, I try it and remind myself how awful it is for me.) I'm often not even that sad about being unable to watch the canon for a fandom I'm in, provided I am well-equipped with transcripts and possibly screencaps. Or at least Wikipedia. But fests? BAWWWWWWWW. ;_;

I think it's especially a matter of "is there a community thing growing around this?" for me. Because people reccing vids or podfics are isolated incidents (and I don't search out the vidding or podfic community for obvious reasons), and even people watching a canon tends to be isolated. OTOH, if there's a reaction post for an episode I start looking at it and going "I bet they're all having fun and I can't join. *sniff*" As you say, it's the whole feeling left out thing.

Thank you for posting about your issues with email. I had no idea and that's good information for me.

They're so normal for me that I keep forgetting other people have no idea such things can happen! >>

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