Yeah, I think my reactions are pretty similar to yours. I tend to really stress over things like that.

I got banned from Yuletide a couple years ago for dropping out without telling them ahead of time, but the trouble was, I really thought to the very last minute that I could do it (I was literally writing up until the countdown, in Google Docs with my beta right there doing live beta on the fic). I really didn't want to drop out and make trouble, but I also wasn't having much luck writing. :-/ And I realise that's my fault, but saying "tell us ahead of time if you're going to drop out" doesn't really work when you don't know ahead of time. -_-