I just saw this over at metafandom, so I know I'm running a bit late, but I'm so very glad you made this post. I can't even explain, really, other than that it brings tears to my eyes with how dead-on it is. I have social anxiety, depression, congestive heart failure, and generalized anxiety disorder.
I can't always anticipate when those things will act up, but when they do, they make participating in challenges of the format you mentioned nearly impossible. And the part about the 'just' e-mailing is so true, too.
I remember having to bail on a Harry Potter ficathon a few years ago, due to anxiety and depression-related issues, and was so stressed out, ashamed, and afraid of being banned from any other groups (or looked at askance) that I left the fandom for a year.
It's still what prevents me from participating in many of these things, and what makes me want to curl-up and cry because so many of my other fandom friends are chatting about how great these things are, how they're one of the few ways to get your fic noticed in big fandoms, and yet they're simply not something I can really do, no matter how hard I try.
And I do try. I had this problem just recently, in fact, with having to whittle down my challenges because of disability reasons (and spoons, oh the spoons). I ended up lying to some people about the problem, because I was too nervous that they would be unsympathetic towards my disabilities.
I - just -- yes. Again, thank you so much for this.
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Date: 2009-11-11 04:47 am (UTC)I can't always anticipate when those things will act up, but when they do, they make participating in challenges of the format you mentioned nearly impossible. And the part about the 'just' e-mailing is so true, too.
I remember having to bail on a Harry Potter ficathon a few years ago, due to anxiety and depression-related issues, and was so stressed out, ashamed, and afraid of being banned from any other groups (or looked at askance) that I left the fandom for a year.
It's still what prevents me from participating in many of these things, and what makes me want to curl-up and cry because so many of my other fandom friends are chatting about how great these things are, how they're one of the few ways to get your fic noticed in big fandoms, and yet they're simply not something I can really do, no matter how hard I try.
And I do try. I had this problem just recently, in fact, with having to whittle down my challenges because of disability reasons (and spoons, oh the spoons). I ended up lying to some people about the problem, because I was too nervous that they would be unsympathetic towards my disabilities.
I - just -- yes. Again, thank you so much for this.